Happy late Halloween.

Best lines:

"What?"
"Oh, good for you, now you're gonna probably have a belly-ache!"
"You sneaky mom!"

We are pearls.

  As we were talking about the parables in Matthew 13 in my New Testament class, I was struck by the two parables mirrored next to each other in verses 44-46 and by the significant changing of roles of the kingdom of heaven: the first parable compares it to a treasure hidden in the field and that a man will give up everything in his life in order to obtain it. The next parable appears to be the same basic story, yet here we find the kingdom of heaven being compared to a merchant man seeking out goodly pearls and finds a pearl of great price, giving up everything for it. What is the meaning of this pearl? What is the kingdom of heaven searching for? Us! We know from Moses 1:39 that our salvation is everything that the Lord spends His time doing, everything that brings Him happiness. We are His pearls and He would (and did) give everything for us. Aw.

New goal.

I am going to learn how to say "bless you" in every language that I can. No matter what country I'm in, I can be courteous when someone sneezes. And who wouldn't love a foreigner that blesses your sneeze?

I've got English, Spanish, Russian, German, and I knew how to say it at one time in French (I'll need a refresher). If you know it in any other languages, please post.

Known Sound

My current favorite poem.

Known Sound by W. S. Merwin

My comments:

"Merwin makes a unique yet powerful statement on the power of self-motivation in his work Known Sound. He utilizes unique but effective techniques to convey this message, with his complete disregard to punctuation, creating a fluid, fast-paced tone that continues to gain inertia throughout, reaching a climax in the last words that are echoed in the title. Perhaps the best example of this expression is the precise turning point mid-poem that juxtaposes the sections of body and spirit, saying “and then all [of] that falls like a curtain,” making a transition from the woman’s commentary on the shell of a body to introducing something much more significant: that “the way whatever lived in [the body] goes on as itself.” At this precise moment, many changes can be noted. A stark increase in line length is made in the second half, reflecting the more fruitful, rich character of this “way”--the soul or personality inside the body that gives it life and movement. The confusing “before nor after neither moving nor still” list of opposites is quieted with the realization that the “way” has already taken a sure stance with “the feet themselves,” and “you know that sound”--a recognition that this drive within is something familiar, something a part of the person that only needs to be heeded. Such a tactic portrays the raw power that lies within a person, only waiting to be released, yet at times caged because of the body--or, in other words, the inhibitions and limitations created by society that can tear a personality down and keep one from reaching their ultimate potential. Not accidentally, the narrator begins the poem in the dark (“After I can no longer see her/she says”) as if to suggest giving light to an important idea never fully acknowledged. Truly, this search to reach one’s full potential should be enlightened."

I could explicate poetry all day.

Like Sigur Ros?

Then you should probably watch this. I think it looks fabulous.

http://www.sigur-ros.co.uk/band/disco/inni/inni-film.php

Plus, this one is coming out.

The Butterfly Circus

This is an absolutely superb film. 20 minutes long, but worth it. The main actor is also the star in one of my favorite films, Bella. He was a famous singer and movie star in South America but declared after years in show business that from there on out he would only make films that would improve the world.

I like that.

I'm such a fan.

You'll enjoy this if you like Bon Iver. He is so genuine and I love it. Great performance from his newest album, too...plus, it's from the Colbert Report. Best line was Colbert's comment on Justin Vernon's major and minor in religious studies and women's studies, respectively: "Did you just go into the registrar and say, 'Just make me feel guilty.'?" Take a look.

To Flourish or To Languish

Modern Mormon Men: Guest Post: To Flourish or To Languish: Interesting post.

Buck.

 I just saw an incredible documentary at the Broadway theater Monday night. Fabulous. This movie didn't interest me at first mention, but the more reviews I heard about it, the more my interest was piqued. They raved about it on Doug Wright's movie show on KSL 1160. My sister-in-law couldn't say enough about it when she saw it with her parents, independent film critics in their own right. Her dad walked out saying he genuinely wanted to be a better person. This movie is about a man, a real life horse whisperer named Buck Branneman, who was abused as a child and used his troubled past to make something good in the world. His story is a subtle commentary on human psychology and how the way we treat others only reflects what we think of ourselves. I recommend seeing it.

Watch the TRAILER now.

"It'll make you better in areas you didn't think related to horses."
--Buck Branneman

Yan.

Click HERE  to see the website of a great photographer I jsut discovered. Very talented and great for engagements.

I feel small. And massive.

 Click HERE to see the breathtaking spectrum from quantum foam, Einstein's material used in the string theory, to the estimated size of the universe (since it takes lightyears to see its expanse, and our universe is only 14,000,000,000 lightyears old, we can only see so far). My mind was blown. I can't wait to create all of this someday.

Best restaurants.

So my dear sister, Ashley, introduced me to my new favorite restaurant downtown. I now want to go every week. It's called Vinto and it's superb. 


Click here for Vinto's menu.

 
Specializing in casual Italian dining, this restaurant serves some impressive dishes, my favorites including the Verdura chopped salad (incredible AND healthy) and Margherita pizza. Their gelato is to die for--a scoop of both almond praline and coffee is a great combo, or their famous salted caramel is a must. If you want a life-changing dessert experience, though, go for the tiramisu, my personal favorite dessert.
Vinto is located in Salt Lake--if you live in Provo and are looking for a unique dining experience, try Bangkok Grill, my favorite place in the Provo/Orem area, located next to Zurcher's on State Street. They serve fabulous yellow curry, pineapple curry, Pad Thai, and, of course, the best mango and sweet rice dessert available in the valley. A more cost effective option is found at Spicy Thai, a more hole-in-the-wall version (they offer a fabulous lunch deal--I'd recommend it to anyone).

The best part of these restaurants (I mean, besides the food) is the fabulous atmosphere. It's not just a meal, it's an experience. I promise you won't be disappointed at Vinto--a very modern look inside with fabulous options for people watching. Bangkok Grill? You get to sit on pillows, for goodness sake. That's worth it right there.

Let me know if you try it!

Which one?

Green ruffles

Baggy black

Ruched bust

Each comes with a removable halter strap. They are all so cute. I have decision-making issues. What's your vote?

How to be infamously ambiguous.

Perhaps it doesn't bother you. Perhaps you enjoy being blatantly lured into mentally asking questions such as, "What happened?!" "Is she okay?" or "What does he mean by that?"

That's right, brothers and sisters, I'm talking about vaguebooking--the most annoying form of social networking and an epidemic perpetuated by Facebook. You know what I'm saying--those people who update their profiles with mysterious comments meant to make you wanting more. My dear friend, Brady Petersen, brought to my attention that it is a widely known epidemic; even Urban Dictionary has provided us with some definitions and examples. Let's see what they have to say:

Vaguebooking: an intentionally vague Facebook status update that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help. Intentionally or unintentionally vague or ambiguous Facebook status updating leads  people to have no clue as to what the heck you are talking about. Also included is posting fragmented song lyrics without stating the artist [that is the worst!].

Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it."
Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea."

Other examples from a fellow blogger:

Tom “decides to let go."
Dorothy “tries to be calm and hope the storm will pass."
Leila “should have not done it, now feels really guilty."

This, of course, triggers loads of comments from mildly concerned friends: “What’s wrong?" “Are you ok babes?" “What do you mean, was it so-and-so we talked about last week? (this comment, of course, heightens the mystery of the comment plus allows the concerned friend to show off to others that they know more)," or “sending all my love that you will be alright," and so on. All the time, the rest of their friends have absolutely no idea what these bunch of people were talking about and are wishing they could just delete these friends to avoid such updates!
According to National Post, (yes, it's that legit) vaguebooking’s core concept lies within the status writer’s ability to bait its readers while still remaining elusive. It is always confessional, provocative and indeterminably sly. Bob was “wrong to do that." Jane “should have handled that better." These phrases are consistently open-ended but hint at something more just below their surface.

Whatever gets you some attention, right?

Classy.

Glasses that I want.

Buy a pair of these and they'll give a pair to someone in need, like Toms.

Fun shoe company.

The pair of Zuriick shoes I desire.

I feel like these shoes would look great on me. Plus, they are unique. Bonus points.

Sigh.

Expressions of Love

I loved this talk in conference so much. Can't wait to have this, too!

Proposition.

I am dying to:

a) See the movie that is playing at the Broadway in Salt Lake called Buck. It's basically The Horse Whisperer...but true. Supposed to be amazing and it has been recommended to me by several people.

b) See The Tree of Life at the Broadway in Salt Lake as well! Apparently it is an amazing independent film and I've almost seen it like 12 times on a date with my sister but something always conflicts. We also were supposed to go to our favorite restaurant in Salt Lake, Vinto's (if you haven't been, GO--fabulous atmosphere and sensational cuisine) but to no avail. It will happen, Ash!

c) Find a friend who owns the Modern Family seasons on dvd so that I can watch it with them and laugh heartily.

Can anyone help me in these endeavors? Who's down?

Best way to wake up.

This song is my alarm every morning. Wouldn't you awaken in a good mood every time with this beauty tickling your eardrums?

Stupid Memory by Sondre Lerche

Pretty sweet song.

K, I know he looks a little like Jack the Ripper's bird-obsessed cousin or something, but I love the song.

Go Do by Jonsi

What think ye?

While you're at it...

You might as well enjoy the summer playlist I made a while back. It's just so great.

Hope you like it the way I like all of you.


Summer playlist

What do you think?

My current summer flavor.

Give it a listen. You'll like it and probably want to go get a slurpee on your bike with your summer fling in only a swimsuit and 'Bows.

Summer Teeth by Wilco

If you liked _____, you’ll love ______.

Think back to the last movie you saw. You're watching the previews (the best part of the theater experience) and you hear this pattern:

If you liked _____, you’ll love ______.

Know what I'm talking about? You’ve seen them.

“If you liked Rocky, you’ll love Hoosiers…”
“If you liked Sleepless In Seattle, you’ll love You've Got Mail…” 

“If you liked Saw, you’ll love Saw 2…”

Okay, that last one is a bit of a stretch, but I would get a kick out of it if I saw that.

But you get the idea, right?

So, where do you draw the line in making these movie connections? Plot, genre, director, movie length, what? I say it's up to your own interpretation. We could, for instance, go simply off of the title of the movies and open up a whole world of possibilities...or at least have an entertaining new game to play with your funny friends of making the funniest connections...er, non-connections.

If you liked Dirty Dancing, you’ll love Dances with Wolves

If you liked My Fair Lady, you'll love My Dog Skip!
If you liked Never Been Kissed, you'll love Justin Beiber: Never Say Never!
If you liked Breakfast at Tiffany's, you'll love The Breakfast Club!
If you liked Fight Club, you'll love The Babysitter's Club!
If you liked Runaway Jury, you'll love Runaway Bride!
If you liked Nightmare on Elm Street, then you'll love Miracle on 34th Street!

If you liked Saving Private Ryan, you’ll love Save the Last Dance!
If you liked Dr. Zhivago, you'll love What's Up Doc!

If you liked The Godfather, you’ll love Father of the Bride!
If you liked 16 Candles, you'll love 12 Angry Men!

If you liked The King and I, you'll love King Kong!
If you liked Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, you'll love Chariots of Fire!
If you liked Polar Express, you’ll love Pineapple Express! 

Now, players beware. You may be tempted to create titles that actually are similar in name as well as subject. I can't be there to referee in person, so just know that that doesn’t work.

Example: If you liked Superman Returns, you’ll love Batman Returns. (If you actually liked one of these movies, you would probably like the other, so it’s true, not funny--thus, no points. Perhaps more appropriate would be: If you liked Superman Returns, you’ll love We're Back!. I think we’ve all learned a very valuable lesson here. Way to dodge that bullet.)

Now, once you get the hang of this idea you are ready to introduce a new dimension to the game: that of the connection being more imprecise. Instead of just sharing a word in the title, it might be a shared syllable only. Or a shared theme.

If you liked Dumbo, you’ll love Rambo!

If you liked The Proposal, you'll love The Ring!
If you liked Charlotte's Web, you'll love Arachnophobia!
If you liked The Horse Whisperer, you'll love All's Quiet on the Western Front! 
If you liked Slumdog Millionaire, you’ll love Richie Rich!

If you liked Godzilla, you'll love Monster-In-Law!
If you liked The Day After Tomorrow, you'll love Calendar Girls!
If you liked Pinocchio, you'll love Liar, Liar!
If you liked Babe, you'll love Silence of the Lambs!
If you liked When Harry Met Sally, you'll love Fun with Dick and Jane!

If you liked The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, you'll love The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

If you liked Chocolat, you'll love American Pie!
If you liked Men In Black, you'll love White Chicks!

One final note: when you are playing, you must say your movie lines with as much excitement and conviction as a movie announcer would, as if you are just so sure that if you liked Funny Face, you'll love Scarface!

Play along, won’t you? If you have some good movie title connections, go ahead and throw on a comment. I would love to hear your ideas!

Surprise.

Heard this one?

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."


The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."


The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.



Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...

"SUPPLIES!!"

 

Happy Fourth.

Well, the Fourth of July is officially my favorite holiday. I can't help it. What other holiday do you celebrate by putting light into the night sky, eating burgers, and playing outside games with shorts and no shoes? This is the holiday of the summer, and I submit that the other holidays just can't be up to par with this one because...well, they aren't a holiday in the summer. Sorry, Thanksgiving. I still love you, just in a different way.

I celebrated the 4th with my sister/best friend this year. We went to Salt Lake and attended a lovely barbeque with some people we knew--and some we didn't (that always adds some pizazz to the night). We walked to a nearby park and watched the fireworks while streaming I'm Proud to Be An American, Neil Diamond's Coming to America, and even The Star-Spangled Banner right off of Lizzie's phone (thanks again, Lizzie, for making it so Americana). After that goodness, we came back to have rootbeer floats and light some sparklers. This is what resulted:

Needless to say, the rootbeer floats did their job.

In-N-Out Revelations

 What the? Has anyone else ever noticed this?

Modern Mormon Men: In-N-Out Revelations

Meet Viv.

This is Vivian the Vibe. She's so great. Why, you ask?

-Stick shift
-Smooth ride
-Sun roof
-Nice speakers
-I've always had a thing for hatchbacks
-Two spoilers (I didn't even know you could do that)
-Within my RM price range (she cost me about $5000--not bad)

 If you want a ride, I'd be happy to oblige. We'll go get Slurpees and sing to the Beach Boys with the sunroof open as I teach you how to drive stick. Until then, I'll just...drive her.

Whatchuadano about grammar.

All of my pet peeves crammed into one Youtube video.

How to get out of hanging out with friends if you're not in the mood.

Love this.

So these people are the people I love. I know these people, I worked with these people, they were in my branches and I saw some of them get baptized or serve missions. I even know the man at the meat stand. Good people. To read more about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Moscow, click here.

Hey look, it's me, Mom! I'm famous!

Deseret News article

Who would win...

My nephew, Jarret, plays a little game with my brother, Trevor (whom I affectionately call T-rev), in which they quiz each other on which animal could beat the other, eg:

Jarret: "Hey, Dad, who do you think would win in a race? A killer whale or a T-Rex?"

T-rev: "Gotta be a T-Rex with those huge legs. Who do you think would win between a jack rabbit and an ostrich?"

Jarret: "Daaaaad. An ostrich, of course."

Thus, I pose this question to you based on this picture I stumbled upon. Who would win in a fight: Smeagol or the black woman? Comment and let me know.

*I apologize. I..........................couldn't help myself when I saw this picture.

Is this for real?

I feel ya, girl.

Serendipity/BYU

Just an entertaining web of connections made the other day. Enjoy.

How's your Mo-dar?

How to spot a Mormon.

Interesting...

I want to do this. Who's with me?

I love this idea.

xo

Who's up for a little PROM competition?

My dad is from Washington and my mom is from Oregon. They met at BYU and got married. They began their family in Santa Rosa, California and had all of their children there (including the child most pertinent to this story, me). After several years, the eldest child, Brandon, was moving to BYU and getting ready for his mission. The thought occurred to Mom and Dad that all of the children would be going to BYU someday--why not move closer to BYU? Thus, when I was the youngest child at 6, we were hauled to Draper and I have lived there ever since. I consider myself having been raised in Utah (obvi), yet I am constantly being accused of not being very "Utah," which I take as an insult from some and a compliment from others, depending on the person and the tone of his voice. Utah definitely has some STRANGE quirks and I won't go into those right now except to mention some of my favorites--hugely ratted hair, Jell-O with carrots, and loooots of children and minivans. But, you have got to love the Deseret State for trying.
Now, getting to my point. One particular quirk I'd like to discuss: prom. Prom is a big deal here BUT not as big of a deal as the ways one gets ASKED to prom. For example, my sister was asked with a bucket of blood and a cow heart nestled lovingly inside (his name was on the bottom on the outside of the bucket, that punk). Another time was a giant ice block with the name in the middle. I once received 5 billion Dum-Dum suckers with a poster saying, "I'd be a Dum-Dum not to ask you to prom" (thanks, Shey Grossen, I appreciate that). An LDS comedian Jenna Kim Jones was pulled over by a policeman to get asked. True story. Sadly, she didn’t have her license so the officer had to give her an official warning along with her flowers and invite. How sweet! What is even more ridiculous, however, is the day of prom. One word: marathon. I just remember awful 5 am mornings on the day of prom to go hiking, eat breakfast, have a picnic and a water fight and go paintballing and get lunch, and, in my case, take the ACT. Blech. Then you take as long to get ready as possible, reconvene and pin on the corsage with your family photographing each movement until your date sweats through his jacket (and you haven't even hit the dance floor). Then you, of course, take the limo (so your date can be a good date) to some expensive restaurant (I went to The Melting Pot for my Junior prom--so good), and on to the dance where you get pictures taken, spending the last of your poor date's money from his lawnmowing business. Hit the dance floor for some cursory dancing if you're normal, dirty dancing for the gross kids in the middle, or for some intense, full-on sweet dance moves on the outside of the dance floor for the coool kids (like me, for example). Interpretive dancing may or may not be included in this. Of course, the night can't end there. You must retire to someone's house and watch a movie as if you have extra energy to spend. Then it's on to the doorstep scene where it's up to the young lady to determine how the date ends (hey, this blog is G-rated). Needless to say, prom was a long day. Also, I never really looked that good in my pictures, even after spending all that time in the bathroom. Guess I should have paid more attention to how I looked instead of what music I was listening to while I readied myself. Wish I had one of my prom pics to post but they are busy collecting dust in a closet in my house. Sorry.

Point being: who can share the funniest/craziest/most creative/most entertaining/most horrifying prom-ask-out-method they have ever heard/experienced? I would looooove to hear.We'll give it a few days and see who wins. I will be the judge because this is my blog and I said so.

Comment now or forever hold your peace.

xo 

I'd say yes, too.

Best marriage proposal EVER. VIDEO

I like this.

Will Smith has a daughter?

She has way more sass than I'll ever have and she probably hasn't even lost all of her baby teeth.





Credit goes to Jane Eyre for showing me this video--and also because she dressed up as Willow for Halloween and whipped her hair all weekend, causing severe whiplash. Seriously. Adore you, Jane.

Classic.

This is awesome/awful.

Gotta read them all.

Welcome Home.

My dear friends and readers, I am home.

Miss me?

I loved my mission. There is no point in trying to summarize the breathtaking experiences I had, the inspiring people I met, and the unbelievable miracles I witnessed on my mission in a matter of a few paragraphs; it is simply impossible, although I have quite enjoyed the irony of such a question after my mission: "So, how was your mission?!" My dear friends, if you want me to answer that question in full then snag your favorite body pillow and get comfortable because I have a lot to say. You'll laugh/cry/shout hooray for the Happy News that is being shared with a people who have awaited it for a long time.

“Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great (D&C 64:33)."

My mission has quite a happy ending for two reasons:

1. My parents came to pick me up. My two sisters decided to surprise me the day my parents arrived and come as well. Best surprise ever.

2. My last Sunday as a missionary the announcement was made that the first stake in Russia will be formed in Moscow on June 5 by Elder Russell M. Nelson. The goal toward which we had been working as missionaries, members, and leaders had finally been reached. The stake has now been formed and now we're done. WHOA WHOA WHOA. Not so. This is only the beginning. Now we're in the thick of things in The Motherland. The Gospel is spreading there like the mold on the PB & J you left in your car last week. I would like to add, parenthetically, that great things will come of it:
In June 1843 the Prophet Joseph Smith appointed Elder Orson Hyde of the Quorum of the Twelve and George J. Adams as the first two missionaries to “that vast empire” of Russia. In announcing their appointment, the Prophet stated that to Russia “is attached some of the most important things concerning the advancement and building up of the kingdom of God in the last days.”

Excuse me, I've gotten carried away again. If you have questions about Russia, I will gladly tell you. For now, suffice it to say that Russia is the best. I want to go back there "right же now."

Here are some shots from the last part of my mission while touring around:

This is Moscow's version of the London Eye (Moscow in Russian below).

This babushka (emphasis on the first syllable, Americans!) asked me to take a picture of her in a convent in which I was touring. After taking it with her camera, I couldn't help asking if I could take one with my camera. I love the Russian people so much it aches. Elect people.

Let's play Where's Waldo, but instead of Waldo, look for the big red "M" metro stop sign.

Matryoshki dolls. Everywhere.

St. Basil's is absolutely fascinating inside. They even sing to you in there.

Moscow: modern technology and fashion meets Old Soviet Russian Orthodox tradition.

This lady is Russian by the fact that she is carrying those plastic bags, called pakyeti.

Wedding tradition: put a padlock on one of these trees for your wedding day and your marriage is set. Also effective: LDS temple sealings.

Just hanging around Red Square, see?

This one still hurts a little bit to see. Тебя люблю, Сестра Бараш!

Covering our heads before entering the Temple of Christ the Savior.

A toast to YOU. Farewell, all!

Dear Readers,

I so appreciate you reading my streams of thought. I will now be transferring my brain outlet done usually in blogging to writing a cacophony of letters to whomever will write me back. I am leaving for my mission tomorrow: I will be set apart tonight and will then report at the MTC at 1:00 pm. I cannot describe how excited I am to go--so I won't try! I'm just going to get out of here and serve a mission in Moscow. I look forward to the relationships I will make with the people and with companions as well as the lessons I will teach, the cold days that I will endure and the visa trips to who knows where I will experience. So far, I've heard of missionaries going to Madrid, Estonia, Prague, Ukraine, North Korea, and several other places. I wonder where I'll end up going! So exciting. Thus, I am convinced that I truly do have the BEST mission--the people, the rich history, the rather exciting temperatures--I think I can handle it! Thanks again to you all. Remember that my current address and most recent updates will always be at http://sisterkelseyjones.blogspot.com. I look forward to your letters!! Until we meet again!

Love,
Sister Jones
Сестра Джонз

I would like to toast my NEW MISSION BLOG.

Please follow my new blog if you want to read my weekly emails while I'm on my mission. My sister, Ashley, will be maintaining it and she will include my most current address in case you get the urge to write me. I hope you will.

Sister Kelsey Celeste Jones' mission blog.

A toast to the Party in the LRC.

So instead of doing finals this semester, my friends made this video. Classic.

Party in the LRC video

I would like to toast Russian.

So, I was studying Russian this morning. Little did I know that one of my favorite bands, Devotchka, means "little girl" in Russian.

You learn something every day.

A toast to NEW Christmas music.

Carol of the Bells--Imogen Heap
All That I Want--The Weepies
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas--Coldplay
Any Christmas music by Sufjan Stevens (especially "Hark the Herald Angels Sing", "Sister Winter" and "Come On! Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance!")
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time--Paul McCartney
Christmas--Rogue Wave
O Come, O Come Emmanuel--Belle & Sebastian
White is in the Winter Night--Enya
A Change at Christmas (Say It Ain’t So)--The Flaming Lips
Anorak Christmas (Piano Mix)--Sally Shapiro
O Come O Come Emmanuel--Rosie Thomas
Evergreen--The Fiery Furnaces
Holiday Song--The Finches
Jeanette, Isabella--Tori Amos
Carol of the Bells--The Bird and the Bee
What Child is This?--Don Peris
So This is Christmas--John Lennon
O Christmas Tree--Miles Davis
Last Christmas--Savage Gardens (yes, Savage Gardens, and I'm not ashamed.)
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer--Jack Johnson
That's What Christmas Means to Me--Stevie Wonder
Santa Comes Tonight--Louis Armstrong
Anything by Vince Guaraldi Trio (A Charlie Brown Christmas)
Please Come Home--Death Cab For Cutie
Silent Night--Alexi Murdoch
The Wisemen--Michael McLean
Lo, How a Rose E’re Blooming--Feist
Please Daddy--The Decemberists
All of the music from Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker. Totally seeing the real thing at the Russian ballet.
Christmas Song--Mogwai
The Blizzard--Camera Obscura
When I Get Home for Christmas--Snow Patrol
Icicles--Let’s Go Sailing
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas--Ella Fitzgerald
Go Tell It On the Mountain--The Papercuts
River--Rosie Thomas
Silent Night--Priscilla Ahn
Auld Lang Syne--Various Artists
Just Like Christmas--Low
River--Travis
The Christmas Song--The Raveonettes
White Christmas--Otis Redding
Christmas--Leona Naess
Baby It’s Cold Outside--Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
Xmas Time Is Here Again--My Morning Jacket
I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day--Pedro The Lion
Christmastime in the Mountains--Palace Songs
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas--Aimee Man
Christmastime--Smashing Pumpkins
Happy Xmas (War Is Over)--John Lennon

I would like to toast ice, booty shakes, and wonderful people.

Well, the whirlwind known as my life has begun to die down. After working 8:30-5 Monday thru Friday at StoresOnline, taking Bro. Bott's mission prep class, planning Freeze Fest (BYU's Christmas party for it's students), preparing to transfer my life to Moscow, and having some fun times in between this semester, it has been a fulfilling yet busy time.
I was sorry to leave my job at StoresOnline because I made friends there with whom I became pretty much obsessed--Stacey Gonzalez AKA Gomez and Alicia Hupp AKA Aleesiahh. We had some good times keeping up on the company gossip, talking about going on diets but ordering Fiery Hawaiian pizza from Dominos instead, having girl's nights and playing Beatles Rockband (amazing) with weird popcorn concoctions, watching Modern Family/The Office instead of working, warding off company creepers AKA Mark, and pretty much laughing together all the time. They took me to my favorite restaurant (long live Bangkok Grill) for my last day of work. I now expect them to write me regularly on my mission concerning their pregnancy and boyfriend, respectively. Thanks to StoresOnline, I was able to finish paying for my mission in full. Ooo-OOH!!! (Baby Mama style).

Blessing our food...

After finishing my job, I spent a week doing nothing but preparing for Freeze Fest. Mother Nature decided she didn't like our idea of building snowmen on campus to hold our posters, so she kept it snowless that week. Luckily, Bob the BYU groundsman came to the rescue and took us into the deep dark abyss underneath the BYU bleachers and provided us an entire army of creepy styrofoam snowmen previously used for some independent film and then donated to BYU. Does anyone else think that's kind of weird? But I'm not complaining. Pretty sure everyone on campus was frightened into attending Freeze Fest.

Needless to say, Freeze Fest was a success. Kendra and I about fell over by the end of the night, but it was worth it. Plus, I got to lick the swan ice sculpture and tie Cosmo's ice skates.

To quote her, these are the things we accomplished:
We had an ice sculpture. It was a swan...obviously!
We used 48 strands of icicle lights to decorate the facility.
Cosmo was there in his blue Santa Suit. He LOVED us!
We had a cheesy sweater contest. The finals contestants had to do a walk off and I loved it.
We had two service projects going on. What better way to get in the Christmas spirit than with service right? That is what I thought as well.
We had a Hot Chocolate bar. Complete with flavor shots, creamers (7/11 style), nutmeg and cinnamon, candy canes to stir, and to top it all off, spray whipped cream! It dominated everything.
We had an AMAZING dance party! Thanks to the best DJ(s) in town!! Mark Boothe from MBX-treme! I absolutely adore him and Logan was also there to help out! Thanks guys!
We had sugar cookie decorating. 375 dozen sugar cookies to be frosted with 175 pounds of butter cream frosting. Mmmm.
Last but not least, we had ice skating and broom hockey ridiculously enjoyed by all who participated! We accommodated close to 2,000 people for ice skating and even more than that for broom hockey! Thank you so much to Ice Peaks employees who helped out so much this whole evening!

All in all, it was a new record for people at Freeze Fest and that makes us, as Event Leads, ridiculously happy and proud of our advertising (however creepy it may have been)! :)

I love my wonderful friend/partner in crime, Kendra. Thanks for making it a success!

Once that was over, I flew to Arizona to bid farewell to some family down there...and feel that last bit of warmth for 18 months...then returned to Utah for my Russian Bootyshake Dance Party Goodbye Extravaganza 2009. Thanks to Jay's massive speakers, Herb's knowledge of how to set them up, and Grooveshark.com's amazing ability to find every song I desire, from Ratatat to Beastie Boys to MSTRKRFT to Lady GaGa to Jay-Z, and play it in lovely succession, we had our entire apartment crammed full with hip hoppin' people the entire night. It was beautiful.

Now I am officially moved home and working on finishing some books, studying Russian, preparing a talk, and getting all of my shtuff together so that I'm ready to hit up Russia for some serious preaching. Get ready, my dear Muscovites!

I would like to toast this boy.

I'm Yours done on the uke by a little Asian boy with an itchy nose.

I couldn't help laughing.

A toast to the Miley Cyrus Virus.

So...there has been a crazy Miley Cyrus virus going around the USA. This is Provo's tribute to that virus. I'm proud to say that I lived in Helaman Halls--where this video was made.

The Miley Cyrus Virus

A toast to gratitude.

Such a premium LDS film.

Some gratitude in NY video

Toast to Modern Family.

Watch this.

I don't laugh out loud a lot. Modern Family makes me laugh out loud.

Translation: watch the dang video.

I would like to toast anthocyanins.

My dearest readers

First of all the comma key on my laptop is missing so you are going to have to make do without commas in my writing. I apologize but then again I guess you now have the freedom to choose when you want to pause as you read my words. You've taken the power of setting my grammatical cadence into your own hands. I am an English major so it's really bothering me. Ah well. I digress.

Why do leaves change? This was a question that my dad asked me my sophomore year of college. Luckily for him (and me) I was in an Honors bio class with three of my best friends and a professor who had a voice strikingly similar to Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. Ya try to not pay attention in that biology class. It was the best. Not only did you listen to the friendliest voice for an hour but he'd bring cups of jello that had congealed and cups that hadn't to demonstrate how putting pineapple in jello doesn't always work because its acidity breaks down the gelatin. In that class I became passionate about DNA and the cute little enzymes that unzip the DNA and then copy it to make up the genes of an individual--a uniquely cool slash weird person who has blue eyes and a short temper and is a horrible runner but has an extremely good sense of smell. I learned how the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and how to remember that it is the powerhouse of the cell. I learned why cloning was so cool and so dangerous and what the true meaning of organic foods meant versus chemically engineered food. He would get so excited so then I would get excited and then we'd ask more questions and he'd eventually get so excited that he'd get sidetracked and tell stories that were completely off the subject but it was more endearing than ridiculous and it was learning at its best and it was beautiful. Are you wishing I had my comma key yet? I'm kind of enjoying this.

One day while sharing my adventures with Piglet to my dad he asked me "Kelsey why do the colors in leaves change? Find that out in your class. I've always wondered that." At that moment I was on a mission. See I'm positive that my dad knows everything. He is the wisest and most intelligent man I know so when he asked me to find something out for him I was freakin Sherlock Holmes (speaking of which I am so pumped to see that movie...mostly because of Jude Law but whatever I'm normal) and I was going to get him an answer. I'm pretty sure that Google would have hooked me up with some excellent info on the change in the autumn leaves but I didn't want to settle for that beensy amount of effort. I instead asked my professor after class. I could be mistaken because it was over a year ago but I'm pretty sure Piglet was quivering with excitement to share the answer. I was fascinated with the answer and have never forgotten it for some reason and I thought I'd share the revelation with my readers just because you're all awesome and this fun fact is a great way to strike up an interesting conversation with a stranger friend acquaintance significant other etc. instead of the old BYU get-to-know-you lines.

You see most people assume that the leaves change color because of the change in temperature. But what about when it's nice and warm outside during the day and the colors start popping up on Y mount? We've all noticed that before. Can't be the temperature. Could it be the weather? No way not in Utah. The weather here is psycho so the leaves can't depend on that to help them get pretty for autumn. No no it's the amount of sunlight it gets. Doesn't that make perfect sense? The days begin to get shorter as the earth's rotation shifts our section of the earth is tilted further from the sun and we get less sunlight in our 24-hour day. The green chlorophyll in the leaves (the only color in the leaf that is reflected into our eyes) isn't getting the yummy sunshine nutrition that it needs so it begins to break down. As the chlorophyll dies the other major pigments in the leaves--carotenoids and anthocyanins--finally have a chance to show their true colors (pun definitely intended). Their colors are finally able to be reflected into our eyes and we can actually see the colors that were before masked by the overbearing chlorophyll.

Um...if that whole process right there is not the prettiest gift a Father has given His child then I don't know what is.

I'll toast that.

I would like to make a toast to The Blind Side.

I enjoyed The Blind Side SO much! I'd recommend anyone to see it. Great movie with a ton of famous football coach cameos and a fantastic middle part on Tim McGraw that will make anyone laugh.

Go see it and then eat some more Thanksgiving dinner leftovers. Mmmm.

I would like to toast whoever thought of this!

French University makes I Gotta Feeling Music Video

Oh GOSH yes. Let's do this at BYU.

And for goodness' sake, watch the whole thing. It's the best at the end when they are singing in French as a graduating class.

A toast to Brian.

After working on my mission prep lesson, attending the temple, catching up at Pita Pit with my girlfriends, Cat and Jane, and cheering like crazy at the BYU/AFA football game on Saturday with my friend, Dave, I went to my coworker's house with some friends where we ate junk food and I introduced them to Brian Regan. What's with no one at BYU knowing about Brian Regan? My family doesn't think that many things are laugh out loud funny--especially me. I will pity laugh or chuckle, but a genuine laugh is few and far between for me. Not sure why. Brian Regan is able to get some pretty genuine laughs out of me, though, so I figure he's pretty good. Watch, people.

Brian Regan on Poptarts.

I would like to toast Cary Grant...and overeating.

I had an eventful weekend.

Friday at work was too enjoyable: our department worked until noon and then we bounced to Tucano's for lunch...a bit too much meat on a stick for my taste, but the grilled vegetables and pineapple was exquisitely delish, so I walked out of there just as uncomfortably full as the next person. I remember learning in my Honors Bio class (Mar? Beats? Didi? Remember the good times with Piglet the teacher?) that the enzyme that tells our body that we are hungry is called ghrelin. I have some overactive ghrelin all up in me. I am always hungry...and I usually eat too much. Whatever, I'm normal. I'm just getting ready for Thanksgiving.
After rolling out of Tucano's, grumbling about eating too much food, we went to see New Moon as a department.
Now, I hated the first movie--it was just a low-budget film. I have a love/hate relationship with the books, simply because I feel like it is such saccharine, unrealistic literature that it makes you wince and put the book down for a minute just to get the assurance that you are still in real, genuine life and there are no glittering vampires with crazy hair nor any smoking hot werewolf-boys that have such hot abs they have to keep their shirts off to stay cool. Yet, I must admit that I love the books if one reads them just for leisure--on a cruise, say, or a vacation in general, when you don't want to use your brain at all and you want to lose yourself in a story. Even then...it's a bit out there. But, to each his own.
New Moon, however, was even worse. This time around, it wasn't a low budget film. They actually had the money to make it awesome and had the experience from the first one to know that they shouldn't make it too cheesy, too oleaginous. But, they did. The only part I enjoyed was Jacob's muscles. I walked out of the movie wishing that I had a boyfriend to kiss, but not any boy--someone as hot as Jacob, which is ridiculous and unrealistic. After about an hour, I was fuming at how the movie (and books) play with your emotions! Forget Jacob. I don't need those rippling muscles to make me happy. Just someone smart and funny, please.
Later that evening I was to meet up with my parents to go to dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant, Johnny Carino's. Mind you, I just ate at Tucano's not too long before. But, hey, you only have a fairly fast metabolism for so long, right? Why not shorten that time by eating a ton of junk now? So I ate a fantastic salad and pasta bowl...and had leftovers for the next day (yesss). Then we went home and watched The Bishop's Wife--the old version, with Cary Grant. We ate my second favorite dessert, tiramisu, as I slowly forgot all about dumb Jacob's abs and lost myself in the essence of Cary Grant. He's the most charming, witty, handsome, classy, sexy man ever (besides my future husband). On Sunday evening, while my three roommates and I were getting slap-happy and laughing hysterically at nothing, we turned on the TV to find my favorite Cary Grant movie and possibly my all-time favorite movie if it didn't make me cry so much: An Affair to Remember. Cary Grant, you complete me.

I would like to toast Penelope's one-uppage.

Thank you, SNL, for entertaining me at work.

One-Up Penelope at Traffic School

One-Up Penelope at the Wedding

One-Up Penelope at Therapy

I would like to make a toast the temple...and the thoughts it actuated afterward.

So, I went to the temple for the second time after becoming an endowed member of the Church. I am such a huge fan of the temple. This time, though, I slunk over there with my sister, Ash, driving through weepy drizzle and finally getting to use my windshield wipers (I get such satisfaction out of a good pair of windshield wipers). I am afraid to admit it...but I am kind of enjoying the recent change in the weather. People, we live in Utah--beautiful, distinct seasons are a part of the package. Quit complaining that it's raining in November. We've had a long and beautiful summer and fall--and now it's time for winter. But I digress.
We met two friends at the temple. One was Christina, an adorable RM in my ward who teaches at the MTC, is super fun, and is one of those people that just shines all the time and doesn't care how cool or nerdy you are--she just exudes love and confidence. I just discovered that she is an only child and was surprised and fascinated by that fact for some reason and I just wanted to learn more about the little gem. I love learning people's stories. You can learn so much about a person just by meeting their family or finding out whether they are the youngest of 4 or the oldest of 12. Let's be honest: it makes a difference. I am the youngest of five children and thus can handle pretty much any teasing and dish it right back. I don't get offended/don't care what people think because my siblings teased me but always made sure that I knew they loved me, so who cares what they say? I also think that I'm a little dense because I'm the youngest...I was frequently teased for always using the intelligent phrase, "Wait, what?" I like to be included in things, so I'll pop into the middle of a conversation and ask what I missed, annoying those in the original conversation. Also, I'm friggin' hilarious so that I can keep up with the weird senses of humor that make up my family, else I'd probably be behind their quick humor by about 2 1/2 days.
We also met Naomi at the temple--pretty much the sassiest, cutest, funniest British girl I've ever met. The girl is super strong--she's endured more hard times than any young woman should ever have to endure by 21. Plus, she has an accent. I could just sit and listen to her all day, wishing I had a similar way of speaking while I wrote books in my library with a Great Dane sleeping at my feet, biting a pair of round spectacles and laughing in a jolly way at the cleverness of the paragraph I had just written.
I am actually very talented at doing a New Zealand accent, but I avoid doing it except to make my sister laugh when she's sad. I feel like the type of people who do accents are the weird people in 9th grade drama class who wear LOTR necklaces and feel more akin to the characters in their most recently read fantasy book than any real person. Perhaps I am exaggerating. I'm not exaggerating when I say that the workers in haunted houses are just plain strange, though...you have to have a little crazy in you if you make a career out of horrifying people all day with your creepy, psychotic antics. I had a hard time refraining from making fun of the scarers at the American Fork Haunted Forest. I worry sometimes that I am desensitized and sick because I never get scared when I watch a scary movie or attend a haunted house...but then, it's not real--why should I be afraid? Then again, perhaps I should be afraid of those 9th grade drama class weirdos who think I'm just another Orc that they must ruin...
ANYWAY. At the temple, who happens to be in the same session as me? Mary Wilde AKA Mary Holmes, one of my best friends from freshman year. I was reeling to think how far we'd both come since our freshman year--her, pregnant and with her adorable husband, Brady, getting ready to move anywhere in the country for dental school, and me, preparing to serve a mission in Russia. It made me so happy to see her and made me look forward to the rest of my life--a mission, finishing school, marriage, a family--I will so make a toast to the things that lie ahead of me.
Cheers.

A toast to the Lawrence Welk Show...redone...

Okay...hilarious.

SNL's version of The Lawrence Welk Show.

I would like to toast SNL's movie short.

If you like the Twilight series...you'll hate this.

Firelight trailer

I would like to toast a new TV show.

Okay, hilarious. Pretty much a satire about today's messed up families. My friend and coworker, Stacey, introduced me to this show and we spent the rest of the day watching, laughing, and quoting it.

Watch Modern Family

A toast to the political climate I am entering. Yikes!

A toast to being romantic...

Awww. Seriously? I love this music video. I wanted to jog on over to Smith's to meet up with my one and only...

Please watch.

"Just Haven't Met You Yet" video

Ghet-to

A toast to Ghet-to.

Toast to Petey.

A direct quote from my friend Eric Petersen who served in Russia:

"I think a little vitamin KJ is just what Russia needs!"

Dang straight.

I would like to toast the next 18 months of my life.

I have been called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I will be serving in the Russia Moscow mission and I report to the MTC December 30th.

OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The seventh largest city in the world.

The third most expensive city in the world.

The country with the most dangerous mafia.

One of the fashion capitals of the world.

The lowest recorded temperature is -44 degrees.

BRING IT ON.

I've never been more excited to do anything in my entire life.

My farewell is Dec. 27th, so if you're around I'd love to see your shining face as I share the testimony that I'll be sharing with Russians for the next 18 months!

PS. May I just say that I guessed that I was going to Russia? Coincidence? I think not.

A toast to our Halloween costumes last year.

Yes, we were the characters from Peter Pan...Anders the Norwegian was Peter, of course. I was the crocodile. Just go with it.

We're probably going to be crayons this year.

But maybe I'll be Max from Where the Wild Things Are...

My two lovely coworkers are being Gilly from the SNL skit. Hilarious.

Halloween is such a great way to show creativity. What are YOU being?

I would like to toast these cars.

Why do I love these cars so much? I'd also love a Prius in case Bill Gates is reading this.

A toast to Mona Greasa.

Sick. This is why I've never eaten at McDonald's.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1904331

Thank you, grease artist man, for helping Americans realize how gross their food is.

I would like to toast ma cherie en Paris.

http://byuinparis.blogspot.com/2009/10/why.html

Beautiful, Laura. Absolutely fantastic.

A toast to Obama's accomplishments...or lack thereof.

Compliments of SNL. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Toast to my new past-time at work.

http://mylifeisaverage.com/

A toast to the rightful Nobel Peace Prize winner...good ol' Obama.

Obama deserved the Nobel Peace Prize as much as Gore did.

That's not saying much.

I don't believe in the Nobel Peace Prize any longer.

That's all I have to say about that.

I would like to toast NOT getting flu vaccinations.

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/10/06/Why-You-Should-NOT-Vaccinate-Your-Children-Against-the-Flu-This-Season.aspx

Shots aren't fun. They aren't always effective. They can be dangerous and cause a lot of complications. Why get the flu vaccine when it is so unneeded? There are so many strains of the flu that taking one flu vaccine is superfluous.

Maybe that's just me.

The one thing I will toast about Obama.

Barack Obama's amazingly consistent smile from Eric Spiegelman on Vimeo.

A toast to unknown quirks.

Apparently, when I haven't seen someone in a long time, instead of clapping and jumping up and down when I see them, I tilt my head to one side, smile, and say their name. I had no idea that I was known for it until last night when my friend said she did it to our guy friend and he said, "Aw, the Kelsey Head-Tilt."

Who knew?

If you see me do it to you, be assured that I love you.