How to be infamously ambiguous.

Perhaps it doesn't bother you. Perhaps you enjoy being blatantly lured into mentally asking questions such as, "What happened?!" "Is she okay?" or "What does he mean by that?"

That's right, brothers and sisters, I'm talking about vaguebooking--the most annoying form of social networking and an epidemic perpetuated by Facebook. You know what I'm saying--those people who update their profiles with mysterious comments meant to make you wanting more. My dear friend, Brady Petersen, brought to my attention that it is a widely known epidemic; even Urban Dictionary has provided us with some definitions and examples. Let's see what they have to say:

Vaguebooking: an intentionally vague Facebook status update that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help. Intentionally or unintentionally vague or ambiguous Facebook status updating leads  people to have no clue as to what the heck you are talking about. Also included is posting fragmented song lyrics without stating the artist [that is the worst!].

Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it."
Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea."

Other examples from a fellow blogger:

Tom “decides to let go."
Dorothy “tries to be calm and hope the storm will pass."
Leila “should have not done it, now feels really guilty."

This, of course, triggers loads of comments from mildly concerned friends: “What’s wrong?" “Are you ok babes?" “What do you mean, was it so-and-so we talked about last week? (this comment, of course, heightens the mystery of the comment plus allows the concerned friend to show off to others that they know more)," or “sending all my love that you will be alright," and so on. All the time, the rest of their friends have absolutely no idea what these bunch of people were talking about and are wishing they could just delete these friends to avoid such updates!
According to National Post, (yes, it's that legit) vaguebooking’s core concept lies within the status writer’s ability to bait its readers while still remaining elusive. It is always confessional, provocative and indeterminably sly. Bob was “wrong to do that." Jane “should have handled that better." These phrases are consistently open-ended but hint at something more just below their surface.

Whatever gets you some attention, right?